she was so not down for the gang bang
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
