he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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