Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
