I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
