I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
