They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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