I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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