Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
vagina is talking i cant
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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