About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
