Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i think i just lost a toe
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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