I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
