just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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