Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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