So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
