According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize