i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
