Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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