Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
