Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
