Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
