You really coming over, don't trick.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this just has baby written all over it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
