He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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