I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
