hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
