Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
