And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
