Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize