Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
