Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You don't make any sense
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