This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize