i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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