My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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