I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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