Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
