so that wasnt chicken after all
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
