There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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