Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
wow bdsm is so cute
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize