just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
