btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
