PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
