i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
my being single is dangerous.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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