redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
