Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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