question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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