Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
