...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize