please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
