I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We need to rekindle our bromance
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
