I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
