Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
