I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
