Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
