i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
