My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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