omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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