so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
