Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
