it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
