We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
