My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
