i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
